break in

we spent a nice weekend in southampton with family. 

we came home to our little home that we love, and discovered that someone had come in uninvited. 

it was heartbreaking. 

yes they took, a lot of "valuable" things, but the upsetting part is that it also feels like they took a little piece of me, of our family.  they took our computer with all my photos on it.  that's not fair.  computer, ipods, jewelry can be replaced...a years worth of photos cannot.  lesson learned:  back up photos regularly, because you never know what's going to happen. 
they also took my comfort in my own home.  i do plan on reclaiming that, but it will take time.  the break in happened through our kitchen window, apparently the person came from the trail, through our backyard to the window.  i find whenever i'm in the kitchen i'm checking out the window to make sure no one is there.  i'm very aware now of any unfamiliar noises.  i never used to lock the door when we were home, except when we were sleeping, now it is always locked. 
it's funny how you process and wonder...what ifs.
things i would change:  motion light in backyard would have been on.  barley would have been home.  not at the kennel.  we would have taken the laptop with us on the weekend.  i would have back up my 2010 photos last week (it was on my list).  i would have had the girls photobooks printed months ago.  i would have asked the neighbours to park their car in our driveway.  and i'm sure the list could go on...
i can't change what happened or how or why.  i can control how i respond and recover.  i think how i responded that night was normal, but i wish i hadn't caused selah to worry.  i think it was really hard to for her to see her mommy cry so much.  fortunately emery was sleeping when we got home and slept through the police being here and everything.  i am really happy with how i talked with emery about what happened the next morning.  both girls seem to be doing fine now, just asking questions as they come up.  emery is missing a few of her special things and her camera.  i told selah the night we came home that i was sad about losing so many pictures and she suggested i take some pictures of her right away, so i did.  she's a sensitive and thoughtful girl. 

i think just writing about this is a step in the right direction. 

jude was very calm through all this and has remained that way.  we haven't had too many trials in our life together, but he is always an anchor when the come.  i'm so thankful for him and my girls and that we're all safe and sound.  i'm also very thankful for all the love i've felt from family and friends since this happened.

(i did take a photo for my potd, didn't have the heart to photograph the mess, so i took a pic of the footprints outside the window of choice.  i lost my card reader though, so this entry will be photofree)