emery is seven

it's hard to believe that i became a momma seven years ago...

emery is a sweet, caring, sensitive girl who is very creative, artistic and dramatic!

my little pumpkin is growing up...

if you are interested in some photography tips about how i captured this

and other images of emery for her birthday shoot,

head on over to bamboo life photography. 

if you've had a chance to check out my business website, 

i'd love to hear what you think!

mommy confessions

life as a mommy is a bit of roller coaster.

oui?

last weekend (and the weeks leading up to it) 

i poured myself into planning and creating 

wonderful birthday memories for selah.

it was an amazing weekend and i was thrilled with how 

everything came together.

happy to see me little girl happy...

i have to say - this week with my 5 year old 

has been a bit of a challenge.

she's been grumpy and defiant at times.

not wanting to go to school, refusing her dinner, saying no to my requests,

claiming she is going to stay up all night and play...

it's so easy to for me to get frustrated and pull away in those moments.

tonight had some frustrating events... 

i rushed through bedtime, 

hoping to get some space to be alone and unwind.

about 30 minutes after i had said goodnight, selah called down to me:

"mommy i feel funny inside..."

i have to be honest, 

it was a real push for me to go to her and be with her tonight...

i didn't want to.

but deep down i knew it was what we both needed.

we talked about how she was feeling. 

we talked about why she might be acting the way she has been.

we talked about how i was feeling. 

i told her i loved her.

she knows...

she cuddled into me on her bed and gave me a kiss on my cheek 

and told me she felt better being close to me.

shedding a couple tears - i was suddenly feeling better inside too.

sometimes when i need to unwind, 

i like to catch up on some favourite blogs.

doing so led me here.

these words resonated with me tonight:

"there is no way to be a perfect mother, 

but there are a million ways to be a good one"

like any parent, i have expectations for my girls. 

i'm realizing that i have even higher expectations for myself as a mom.  

i seem to need repeated reminders that i can't be a perfect mom.

when i'm hosting parties for my girls - i feel like a pretty good one.

when i'm losing my patience with them and rushing through routines...

it "feels funny inside"

first i tend to blame them for my frustrations and tension, 

but if i'm honest i realize i'm frustrated with myself 

for not being the mommy i want to be.

i'm still working through how to relax these expectations

tonight was a good reminder to give love and time even when i don't feel like it.

because when you do, you just might get that love back tenfold...

~

and i just want to thank all of you who take the time to visit my blog.

sharing photos and memories,

processing life as a mom,

hearing your thoughts...

it's good my soul.

i hope your weekend gives you something to smile about!

have a good one.

nachos and schooners

tonight, as i was scanning through photos, i found this one.

this was taken by jude on the beach in southampton on thanksgiving weekend.

we had a date night.

it was so fun to watch the sunset together,

take some photos,

play with a stray cat on the beach,

and then head to crabby joe's for some nachos!

jude watched hockey and i won a schooner.

it's a big one.

good times.

~

i just got jude his own camera today!  

he's heading to british columbia next week...  

i'm not really willing to part with mine 

(especially as i finish up my course),

and i don't think he really wanted to lug mine around...

so jude now has this one:

 this camera comes in a rainbow of colours.

of course i got black for jude.

i can't wait to see the photos he captures.

feeling thankful tonight for judah...

this past week or so, i haven't been feeling 100%

and he has been very caring and helpful...

~

and on another note:

i'm still hoping to design your christmas card for you!

i need three more orders to get some rabbits and a goat for someone who needs them!

(click on the green words if you have no idea what i'm talking about)

ten years

today - my parents celebrate 38 years of marriage! 

amazing!  congratulations mom and dad!

today - jude and i celebrate 10 years of marriage!

hoorah!

photo of a photo - hard to believe 10 years was pre-digital for many

here's a bit of our story:

judah and i met at myw when i was 18 and he was 20.

we were on staff there together.  

it was my 4th summer volunteering at camp, his first.

a friend of his talked jude into coming to work at camp...

but then he got a 'real' job and couldn't come anymore.  

jude still came.  i'm so glad he did!

i had an immediate crush on the new cute guy.  

actually, i think the crush started when i heard there was a guy 

named judah coming to work at camp (love the name!).

we became great friends that summer, spending most of our time together.

he was the first guy i could sit and chat with for hours.

come september i was moving to bc for my first year of university 

and he was heading back to windsor for his third.  

the week before i left, he took the bus twice to mississauga to visit me...

 i was hoping that was a good sign - maybe he liked me?!  

it wasn't until october that i got a letter from him telling me how he felt.  

best. day. ever.

by christmas (when i was home from bc) it was official.

we dated for a year and a half and got engaged, 

a year and a half later (too long) we were married!  

10 years now...still going strong!

kinda fun to think back to how it all started...

judah - being with you is a dream come true!

love you forever.

this guy i like...

i know this guy named judah...

he's kind

respectful

honest

thoughtful

hardworking

creative

loyal

nice to look at

a little silly sometimes

(but edgy)

inpiring

and smart.

congrats on getting accepted to UofT for your phd...i'm so proud of you.  

i'm excited about this new journey and the doors it will open for you. 

i love you.

if you know jude - you can leave a message here for him...

looking back

so, it's a new year.  woot, woot!

i wish i had something deep and moving to share about my wishes for this year...

but that's not my style. 

so instead - here is me and my family, photo-style.

looking through the photos of this past year brought back great memories and 

reminded me of all i have to be thankful for.  

2010 was a goodie - looking forward to whatever 2011 will bring.

jude and emery - winter fun at belmont park

new cousins: daniella & evan, and a visit with april

i'm loving the love here and they were loving the couch fort 

this month started with easter and a birthday
in the hospital and ended with a happy, healthy girl

our first trip to NJ to see the birches
and some great photos by my sister

 welcome aubree - my niece

lots of summer fun, including strawberry picking
for the first time with the girls

we got a dog named barley - judah likes this

back to school and celebrated emery's 5th bday
(photos taken in guelph when jude spoke at 'take back the night')

thanksgiving in NJ and all dressed up for halloween

a little before bedtime play, while i played with my camera

gotta love new jams on christmas eve!

wishing you all the best this year!  have fun.